Even though we fully expect that the excitement, lust, and cant-keep-your-hands-off-each-other feeling will last forever, the fact is that it doesn’t. The longer you’ve been with your partner the easier it is for other things to creep in and take over. But you don’t have to just accept that the honeymoon is over if you’re willing to take steps to spice up your love life.
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I come from a long line of women who love a fireworks show. My mother and grandmother turned back into children when my father and grandfather would set off the fireworks they’d purchased from the local fireworks stand. After we’d eaten hamburgers cooked on the grill and then filled our tummies with homemade ice cream, it was time for the show! I think they were even more mesmerized by the colors and shapes than my brother and I were.
It’s not uncommon for special occasions to be accompanied by extravagant fireworks shows. Whether it’s July 4th, a royal wedding, or something closer to home, fireworks are are exciting and thrilling, in part because they’re not part of the everyday norm.
Last night I could already hear the popping noise of fireworks going off somewhere nearby in my little town as we were getting closer to Independence Day. I told my hubby (who is new to small town life) to be prepared because we’d likely be hearing fireworks every night for a week. That’s just the way it is in a little town – any reason to have a little fun is a good thing and there isn’t much in the way of entertainment otherwise.
But there are lots of people feel like there’s no reason to limit the fun to just a single day. After all, why stop there? Instead, how about turning it into a much longer celebration and spread out the fun?
So that got me to thinking. What would it take to create fireworks in a relationship every night for a week?
How about a month or longer? Now THAT would be something to celebrate!
When I originally planned this post, it was simply going to be a list of suggestions to put the sparks back into a relationship by incorporating specific ideas to keep things exciting and fresh.
But then it dawned on me that a list of actions alone would be of little help unless there were certain attitudes to accompany them. Let’s face it, an action can be performed with or without enthusiasm – but action without enthusiasm in a relationship rings false and won’t get us the result we desire.
So this post morphed into a list of actions AND attitudes because only when you combine them will you get the fireworks you’re shooting for (pardon the pun).
The right attitude sets the stage for a great relationship
These are listed first because a positive, loving, and happy attitude sets the stage for everything else that takes place in a relationship.
In order to get in the right frame of mind, consider the following:
1. Think about the reasons you love your partner.
2. What things first attracted you to them?
3. Think back to the beginning of your relationship. Remember how excited you were when they’d call or when you’d go out together?
4. What are your partner’s best qualities?
5. What things make your partner happy?
6. What are some things that your partner does to make you happy?
Actions bring attitude to life!
Just a few specific ideas to add a little spice and fun to the relationship.
1. Flirt with each other. Suggestion and innuendo – both verbal and physical – lets your partner know that they’re on your mind. Besides, flirting is fun.
2. Concentrate on looking your best for your partner. I’ve always heard that old saying about being a new woman – well, there’s probably something to that. It’s not that our partner doesn’t love us in our natural state, but it never hurts to make the extra effort to gussy up. Do you remember how much time you’d spend putting yourself together when you were dating? Your partner doesn’t deserve any less now.
3. Do something novel together OUTSIDE the bedroom. Experiences bond us to each other and memories are lasting. I’ve read that activities that get your adrenaline pumping have a special bonding effect.
4. Don’t let things get stale. You wouldn’t want to eat a sandwich every night for the rest of your life. Therefore, let your imagination run wild and put a few other things on the menu.
5. Do something new INSIDE the bedroom. Get the menu out and try a new dish. Learning to give a great massage goes a long way too.
6. Remember that variety is the spice of life. Try a new position, place, technique, etc.
7. Fulfill a fantasy together. Perhaps reading or watching something together will get the conversation started.
8. Play in the sprinklers outdoors (you can let your kids in on this fun if you’d like). End up with a shower together inside when you’re done (park the kids in front of the TV for a while).
9. Go on a picnic together. Perhaps indulge in a little old-fashioned necking while you’re at it.
10. Listen to the song “Afternoon Delight” and then go for it.
11. Do something from your dating days. This will hep you remember what you used to enjoy doing together.
It’s much too easy for the routine of daily life to take the place of romance and spark. After all, when the toilet is running over or the kids are sick, those things go to the top of the list. The trick is to make sure that the routine doesn’t STAY at the top of the list.
It takes effort – but fireworks are always worth it.
Before you go be sure to check out the rules for a happy marriage and some reasons to continue dating your spouse. And if you’re finding that your interest just isn’t what it used to be, you may want to consider some ways to boost your libido. Your relationship with your honey is too important to leave to chance!