Duke, our 18 year old Corgi’s days are numbered. The hair on his face has become a mixture of white and gray. His eyes have the film of cataracts and his ears no longer perk up when we come through the door. He doesn’t see or hear us until we’re close enough for him to feel the vibration of our footsteps on the floor. Unfortunately, this means that we often cause him to be startled, more than delighted, by our presence. But as Duke’s days grow shorter, he’s teaching us some important lessons about aging and growing older. I hope I’m wise enough to remember and accept them.

What an old dog can teach us about aging
1. No matter how cute we are when we’re young, time takes its toll on each of us. He’s turned gray and his coat isn’t as pretty and shiny as it used to be. The same is true for each of us. We begin to notice that our skin isn’t as taut as it once was. Age spots begin to appear on our face and hands. Our hair isn’t as thick and shiny as it was in our youth and our skin becomes thinner.
2. All of us – if we’re lucky – will get old. To not get old means we missed out on living a long life and all the miracles and joys it brings. I’ve written before about how not to dread your birthday, but it’s true – if you live a long and full life, you’re going to get old. There’s no way to avoid it.
3. It’s hard to lose your sight and hearing. You get startled easily because you don’t see or hear people coming. It also means that you miss out on many of the things going on around you because your senses just aren’t as sharp as they used to be. I know that I personally fear losing my sight most of all since I love to read and the work I do now requires it. It’s hard to imagine a world in which I couldn’t see and appreciate the beauty of a sunset.
4. His body doesn’t work the way it used to. I notice more and more that Duke has difficulty getting over the threshold of his doggie door to go outside. His hips and back legs are stiffer so he’s slower getting outside for his morning business. He has less energy and he sleeps more every passing day. Something has to be extraordinary for it to be worth the effort it takes him now to get up and down. Unfortunately, he’s not the only creature at my house that is experiencing aches and pains.
5. He has stomach issues. He can’t tolerate foods unless they’re very bland. While he used to enjoy the scraps from out dinner table, they upset his stomach and make him sick these days. About the only ‘people food’ he can tolerate these days is mashed potatoes.
6. He has problems with his teeth. He no longer enjoys many of the things he used to beg for and then gobble up. He used to enjoy the bacon my dad would feed him each morning, but no longer. We’ve made jokes about having a dog that got so spoiled he would turn up his nose at bacon (what dog DOES that?). It tells us either that his stomach or his teeth won’t let him enjoy what used to be a heavenly treat. His days of bacon, dog biscuits, and other chewy treats are behind him.
7. He’s getting forgetful and more easily confused. He frequently can’t find his doggie door any more. He makes way to the little dog room/porch, but he can’t figure out where the door is. He’ll end up with his nose in a corner wondering why he can’t get outside. It’s actually very sad to see him so confused.
8. He still likes to be close to his people. In fact he stays even closer by our side these days than he used to. It’s as if he takes comfort in knowing that the people who love him are right beside him.
9. Once a day, in the mornings, he still tries his best to scamper down the hall when he hears my father in the kitchen. He’s grown to love my dad since we moved in with him because Dad likes to feed him. So once a day he feels like a young puppy again. The lesson is that inside each of us is still a young pup who remembers something that excited us. (An update to this – Duke no longer scampers down the hall. His back legs and his hips are giving him enough trouble that he can’t do this anymore. This is a change that’s occurred in just the last week.)
When a pet is gone…update
Unfortunately, we had to have Duke put to sleep a couple of weeks ago. He spiraled downward in the span of under two weeks and it became very obvious that he was suffering.
The morning that we took him to the vet for the last time was a very somber car trip. The usual talking was replaced with silence as none of us had much to say.
Jungle Jim had asked if I wanted to go back when they took Duke. I told him, “Of course. I’m not going to let him be taken back by strangers and be frightened in his last few moments.”
So Jungle Jim and I both went to the back with Duke. The people at the vet’s office were so kind to us all. They petted Duke and did the best they could to keep him from being afraid. But we held and petted him and spoke softly to him as the light went out of his eyes.
Jungle Jim commented that he thought he saw a smile cross Duke’s face as the first shot of pain killer took effect, as if he was no longer hurting. I don’t know if dogs can really smile or not, but I hope so. I’d like to think that he was relieved to not be suffering any longer.
I know that I was bawling like a baby the whole time. Jungle Jim wasn’t doing much better.
We still haven’t gotten used to how much emptier the house feels without his presence. Granted, he slept much of the day and he never was a very loud dog (and he hadn’t barked in ages). But there was still a routine that revolved around taking care of his needs. Water to be changed, food to be put out, making sure he went out before bed (even if it meant waking him up to do so). He was also a frequent topic of our conversation as we’d prepare meals and talk about how we were all feeling on a particular day (and we’d compare ourselves to the dog). Not doing those things leaves us a little at loose ends.
We’d made a decision months ago that Duke would be our last dog. Our life situation has changed and we don’t feel that we’re ready to make the commit that another animal would require. It seemed so logical and rational months ago when we agreed on this.
Now, who knows.
For now we’re getting used to a house that seems too still and quiet. We tell ourselves that Duke is finally chasing squirrels and bunny rabbits and that he’s enjoying eating bacon again. It’s easy to say “We’ll never” during times of blessing. It’s another thing altogether when you realize that you were blessed in ways you didn’t recognize.
Duke was a blessing to our family in ways that only pet lovers can understand. We’ll be anxious to see him again when we cross that Rainbow Bridge.
Honoring our pets
I really debated with myself whether or not to link to this plaque of the Rainbow Bridge. It feels odd to put an affiliate link (see disclosure) in a tribute to our little friend. However, after sitting on this post for a couple of days I asked myself whether the verse might help someone else who had suffered the loss of their fur baby. I decided that it might and that I would hate to not to share something that touched my heart. If you’re not familiar with the verse I highly suggest you read it. Be warned – it is very sweet and touching but it will bring a few tears to your eyes. At least, that’s what it always does to me.
Update: December 2021
For the past year our “granddoggie”, Sunny, has been living with us. Sunny is a beautiful Blue Heeler with one brown eye and one blue eye. And we just adore him! Our son moved into a place that was just too small for the dog’s needs and since we already loved the dog, he came to stay at our house. We’re so much better for having him around.
Sunny has become the focal point of the house. My dad spoiled him rotten and has taught him that good doogies get to share breakfast. And now Sunny feels that every meal should be shared…and most are. While he’s bigger than any dog we’ve ever had, we just don’t know what we’d do without him.
No matter how much you love a pet…and we loved Duke completely…your heart can always find room to love again. That may be the ultimate lesson our pets teach us.

I help older women get past their fear and mindset issues so they can create a plan to pursue their goals and dreams.
That is a beautiful post, Shelley. You made some good observations that do relate to us as we age. I hope that our older folk find love and comfort like your Duke did.
Kathleen
Blogger’s Pit Stop
I hope our older folks do too, Kathleen. And I hope that I remember Duke’s lessons so that I can be kinder and more understanding.
Every pet loss is a blow to the heart, my deepest condolences.
Thank you!
I’m so sorry you lost Duke Shelley but you know he was given so much love by you and your family. I loved your post about learning lessons from your dog – so true. Beautifully written. Xx
Thank you Sue – I appreciate that. He got an extra 15 years that he wouldn’t have had if we’d not rescued him and that is comforting. Unfortunately, the time will come for all of us when aging overtakes us.
So sorry for your loss. I know what its like to put down a beloved dog. Its a very hard time, but Duke’s out of his suffering. Its still hard to say goodbye.
Thanks Laurie. That’s how we’re consoling ourselves. In our mind, Duke is chasing the squirrels who used to taunt him and he’s enjoying bacon again.
We had to put our dog to sleep last month. It was one of the saddest days of my life. My kids were heartbroken too. Our pets are like family. We all miss her terribly. Everytime I open the cupboard where the peanut butter jar is kept, I expect to see her come into the kitchen. If I hear something jingle, I momentarily think it’s her collar. Sigh. But it was more than worth it to have her for the time we did. Loved every minute.
I understand exactly and I”m sorry about your dog! We’re still in that phase too. We still look over to check to see if Duke is awake and needs to be taken out. Or we’ll be in the kitchen preparing a meal and reflexively put something aside for him before remembering he’s gone. And several times each day something catches my attention and I look up expecting to see him. I’ve been through this before (with both pets and family) so I know it will ease, but it’s never an easy thing to go through. I am especially sorry to hear about your kids – I know my oldest one has taken this really hard as well and he’s a young adult. Hugs to all!
Oh, my heart just hurts. It’s so hard to see our pets decline and then have to make the decision to put them down. Beautiful writing, Shelley!
Thank you Cathy. It’s funny because I’d written the first part of this post a couple of weeks before Duke got so bad and I just put it on hold. Then after we made the decision to put him to sleep it took me a couple of weeks before I could finish it (and I still cried as I did). I hope the post helps us all remember that getting old is difficult for those who are aging and that the best we can give our aging loved ones is understanding and compassion.
My condolences to you and your family. I know that losing Duke was like losing a family member. I have had dogs all my life and cannot imagine going on for very long without a dog in the house. But, for me, it has been necessary to put a little distance (time) between dogs — not to acquire a new puppy immediately after losing a dog who lived for many years. My husband and I currently have a female Shih Tzu, Isabel, who is 13 years old/mostly blind/slowing down. She is our baby and the princess of our house. We’re older, now, too and both retired. So – we spend a lot of time with her. It is true that our dogs have much to teach us and that we treasure all they have to give.
My first fur baby was a little Shih Tzu named Lexi! I got her when I was 22 and still single and at a very lonely time in my life (I’d decided I was going to be single forever so she really was the object of my affection!). She was the sweetest little dog and was with me till she died of natural causes when my kids were still young. I grieved for Lexi too because she truly felt like the only friend I had for several years – I considered her my first baby. I suspect that circumstances will change for us one day and we’ll get another one but I agree that you need a little time between pets. I hope you have many more years with your little friend and that her days are happy ones.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know this post will deeply touch anyone who has ever loved a dear pet.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Goodness, this is exactly where we are with our oldest dog right now and this post brought me to tears. It hurts my heart. We do our best to take care of him and hold him close when we can. <3 to you.
Oh, Andrea, I’m so sorry to hear this! We knew Duke’s days were coming to an end and I thought I was so prepared and would be “an adult” about it. Well, the joke was on me because I cried like a baby and felt nothing like a grownup. We’re still talking about how we haven’t gotten used to him not being around and wondering when things will feel normal. Enjoy your pet while you can – I’m sure he is a big part of your heart.
sorry for your loss. After all those years he must have really felt like part of the family
Hi Jeremy! Duke definitely was part of the family. You know, there’s a side of you that feels silly and tells yourself, “He was only a dog.” But I don’t guess it really matters whether love is directed towards the 2-footed or the 4-footed – love still hurts when the recipient is no longer there. Our pets definitely do become part of the family and make it complete.