Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. We’re seeing ads for the perfect gift for our sweetie, both online, in our inboxes, and on the television. And while gifts are great (I never turn one down) it takes more than a pretty box with something special inside to keep our relationships going strong. In order to keep a relationship growing – or to improve a relationship that’s withering – you must continue to date your spouse.
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Reminders are good
Every couple needs to remember why they got together in the first place. It’s too easy after some years go by to get into a rut. You’re used to each other now. You’ve seen each other at your worst. You’ve seen them sick, grumpy, and looking awful. Some days they don’t even resemble the person you used to get all dressed up for.
That’s exactly why a reminder is a good thing. Time and familiarity don’t have to make those special dates a mere memory. Make plans to do something special – or at least something that’s not the same old ordinary thing – and remind yourself what you saw in each other in the first place.
It’s the two of you against the world
It’s easy to spend so much time focusing on other people that you end up taking your spouse for granted. After all, you figure they’re committed and will always be there so there’s no reason to worry about anything, right?
Unfortunately, it’s not that uncommon for couples to look at each other after they’ve raised their family and realize that somewhere along the way they lost what made their relationship special.
But the reality is that kids leave home, friends move away, siblings have their own issues and lives, and parents die. Your spouse – hopefully – is with you till one of you dies after a long life. You want to be sure you still have a relationship once everyone else is out of the picture.
Because everyone changes
I’ve heard women say, “I know everything there is to know about that man. There are no surprises any more.”
I think that’s nonsense – and probably an excuse for not putting much effort into the relationship.
No matter how long you’ve been together your spouse is continually changing. He, like every other human being, is evolving, growing, and forming new interests, opinions, and tastes – just like you are. You need to KEEP getting to know this person instead of assuming he is the same as he always was. If you don’t, you may look up one day and wonder, “Who IS this man?”
It’s fun to go on a date. You remember how excited you were when you first started dating . Some of our parents made us wait till we hit a certain age before they’d let us go out. At my house the magic age was 16 and I thought I’d NEVER reach that milestone birthday. It also felt like everyone else – and I mean everyone! – was already going out on dates. But no, my mean parents were adamant.
So I anxiously waited for that 16th birthday and the dates that followed were likely even more special. You may have a similar story. Why would any of us want to stop doing something that was so exciting and memorable?
It leads to even more fun
Hey, if this isn’t reason enough to convince you of the benefits of dating your spouse, I don’t know what is. They say that too much of a good thing isn’t good for you.
If you don’t, someone else just might.
So what’s your favorite date idea with your spouse? If you need a few ideas, be sure to check out these date night ideas from my friend Gina.
If you’re looking for some ideas to help your relationship you might want to check out the following:
- Melt: Massage for Couples
- Boost Your Libido
- Reclaim Your Marriage – this is a 10 week program for couples to go through together.
- The Marriage Club – a monthly or annual membership with access to resources to help you improve your relationship
- Take Back Date Nights