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Creating new habits is difficult for too many of us. While we can logically understand that the time for change has come, getting past the very real hurdles of actually creating positive new habits is easier said than done. However, it’s not impossible so let’s take a look at eight tips that will help us as we work to create new habits for ourselves.

Many of us reach a point in our lives where we take a look around and don’t like what we see.

Pin image: You Can Create Good Habits

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If we’re examining our homes we see a messy kitchen and a sink filled with dirty dishes. We may see dust bunnies that truly are multiplying faster than rabbits.

Or if we’re examining our lives, we may realize that our blood sugar is out of control, or that the scale is groaning every time we step on it.

Whatever the situation, you realize that it’s no longer tolerable and it’s time to do something about it – it’s time for some new habits!

If only it could be as simple as making a decision, right?

What’s Not Working?

Sometimes this is the hardest part.

Often we know that something doesn’t feel right or that we’ve got this feeling or dread or frustration hanging over our head all of the time. The problem is that we may not really be sure of what precisely is causing it.

This is where it’s time to use our detective skills to pinpoint the exact problem.

Woman's feet on a bathroom scale

Do you feel uneasy before you step on the scales each morning (or each time you go to the doctor)? Do you feel overwhelmed each time you walk through the kitchen?

These feelings are signals as to what’s bothering you. We simply have to become aware enough to tie the feeling to the problem.

Taking a good hard look at our situation is the first step to creating a new habit. Replacing that vague “this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be” feeling with a precise understanding of the problem will enable us to figure out exactly what type of action we need to take.

Determine What Actions Aren’t Serving You

Now that we know what the problem is that we want to change with a new habit, we can start thinking about how to go about it.

In some cases, we may need to start doing something.

If we’ve been haphazard in our approach to kitchen cleanliness and tidiness, then we may need to make it a practice to take a final look around and wash (or put into the dishwasher) any dirty dishes that are in the sink or on the counters before we turn off the kitchen light and call it a day.

In other cases, we may realize that we need to stop doing something.

For example, if the number on the scale is higher than you’d like, it may mean that it’s time to stop enjoying that nightly snack.

And in some cases, we may discover that we need to replace one habit or behavior with something else.

That nightly snack…we may find that by replacing a handful of chocolate chip cookies with an apple is enough to start the scale moving downward.

close up of woman sitting on couch eating popcorn
woman eating popcorn on sofa

As with most things in life, it’s hard to solve a problem until we can define it.

What Result Do You Want Instead?

You can approach this by figuring out what specific result you want to see or by determining what feeling you want to experience instead.

In some cases, we may be looking for something concrete…like walking through the kitchen and seeing a clean, empty sink. That’s something very specific that we easily recognize when we see it.

In other cases, what may be driving us is the desire to experience a specific feeling.

For example, even if we don’t have a specific goal (like for a certain number on the bathroom scale), we may long to be rid of the anxious feeling we get before we step on the scale at the doctor’s office. Or perhaps we don’t want to dread the thought of unexpected guests dropping in for a visit because the house is always cluttered.

Either of these are perfectly acceptable but knowing what you want is an important step in the process. It’s hard to get what you don’t know you want.

What It Takes To Make This Change?

Create good habits surrounded by magnifying glass and clock

Okay, here’s where it gets fun…or not.

We need to think (seriously) about what specific actions it will take to change the situation that is frustrating us. Make a list…seriously, write it down. This will make it easier here shortly.

Here’ where we need take emotion out of the picture for a minute…because that’s where a lot of us get bogged down (or perhaps that’s just me).

A hard truth is that sometimes the things we need to do (or to stop doing), aren’t things we really want to do (okay, maybe that’s just me again).

But if we were giving the advice to someone else and telling them what they need to do…or not do, we’d hand them the list we just created and not worry about those pesky emotions (because it’s easier when it’s someone else, right?).

So for a few minutes, get out of your own head to create a list of things to do…or not do, as the case may be. That’s the fourth step.

Start Small

older woman with weight in one hand

We now have a list of things to do (or not do) that will help us make the change we need to make…and to create the new habit we need to implement. We may feel overwhelmed or sad or any of a million other emotions.

Because often when push comes to shove, we really don’t want to change our behaviors, we simply want the different results.

We want the reward without doing the work.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

We can wail and moan about it. We can point our clenched fist into the air and complain about how unfair it is. We can curse our bad luck or our bad genes or blame others.

But none of that will make any difference…unless it just makes you feel better for a few minutes.

However, even when faced with a list of things we don’t really want to have to change, we can make the decision to start with One Small Thing.

The good news about creating new habits is that we don’t have to try to change multiple things at once. In fact, that’s pretty much a guaranteed way to fail and make no significant change at all.

For example, one of my goals for this year is to increase my energy and stamina. The medications they run through me for my cancer cause fatigue which leads to a host of other problems. So I decided to work on increasing my exercise and movement.

I got off to a great start at the beginning of the year. And then…life happened. I fell off the wagon and had to crawl back on. Because as much as I hate to admit, I hate exercise (I didn’t say I was proud of it, but keeping it real).

Since Rome wasn’t built in a day, I’ve started small. The first thing I’m doing is using resistance bands to build up some muscle strength. I’ve also got a shoulder that I broke pretty seriously some years ago, and using the resistance bands helps with the mobility in that part of the body as well as helping me stretch and focus on other parts of the body as well.

If I tried to start off with a 30 minute workout I’d probably kill myself. But by starting small and focusing on one thing, I can make that a habit and then build on it.

Here’s ultimately the thing about change and creating new habits – you have to stick with them until they become a routine. Once something becomes a routine, you can add to and build on it to improve it. But you can’t improve what you aren’t doing.

So start small and do one thing until it’s part of your day.

Track Your Progress

habit tracker

When I fell off the exercise wagon earlier this year, I knew I’d fallen off because I was keeping track of how often I was actually exercising.

It’s WAY too easy to fool ourselves if we’re not tracking our progress.

I don’t way this with judgment. I’ve lied to myself over and over and unless I’m smacked in the face with something tangible, I’m gullible and believe my lyin’ self.

So determine how you’re going to keep yourself honest and track your progress. Honestly, this may be the most important step.

Fortunately, there are lots of ways for you to track progress.

I have kept track in the habit section of my Power Sheets. In each monthly section you’ve got a “tending list” and it’s a good place to mark down whether you did something or not.

I’ve also used stand alone habit trackers in the past. You can find them lots of places and on Etsy.

And if you prefer digital planning and tracking to paper, I’ve recently discovered Notion and there are habit trackers inside that software you can use.

You could also use something as simple as a regular spreadsheet or a spiral notebook to track your progress as well.

The method isn’t as important as the fact that you commit to doing it!

Plan For Rewards

A seventh tip (or step) is to think ahead about ways to reward yourself for the progress you’re going to make.

We all respond better to the carrot than to the stick. Therefore, knowing there’s something pleasant waiting for us when we reach a certain milestone or end point can be very motivating.

For example, if I treat myself to a pretty set of bookends when I reach my quarterly reading goal, I’m going to be motivated to continue doing that. After all, I got something I desired out of it.

Now, a word of warning here: Make sure that the rewards you give yourself don’t undo the progress you’ve made!

Many a diet was waylaid because the “reward” for losing a few pounds was to indulge in something yummy (and caloric) that simply undid all of the good work we’d done.

Instead, look for rewards that reinforce the behavior you want and that don’t cause you to backslide.

Prepare For Setbacks

Finally, think ahead about how you’ll deal with setbacks. Because they’re inevitable.

None of us are perfect and life happens. Things get in the way. We revert to a familiar, but unhelpful, behavior.

When (not if) this happens, acknowledge it, forgive yourself, and get back on track.

Creating New Habits IS Possible

Create good habits surrounded by magnifying glass and clock

Creating new habits doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible. Understanding the steps that increase the chances of success will go a long way to helping you create the positive new habits that will make your life better. Whether those habits involve something personal or related to your home, they’re worth the time and energy then take when you begin to reap the rewards.

Something That Helped Me

I purchased two workbooks from Cultivate What Matters that have helped me a lot. They came in a bundle but are the Habits Workbook and the Routines Workbook. I’ve also created a video that lets you peek over my shoulder to get a look inside to help you decide if they’re for you. What I liked is that there was in-depth work to get you to reflect and think about issues that may be tripping you up and preventing you from implementing the habits and routines you want. They also places for you to plan out your steps and track your progress. You can watch the video HERE on YouTube or below – your preference.

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